Phoenix Idiotarod

Saturday, February 8th, 2014

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What in the...?!??!

The Iditarod is a famous long-distance race held in Alaska. (They even made a movie about it). In the race, an idiot gets all bundled up in his warmest clothes and has a pack of dogs pull him on a sled over 1,100 miles while he stares at the last dog's ass.

The Idiotarod is quite similar, except you don't have to stare at a dog's ass! Well, there are a few other differences too. There aren't any dogs involved, you don't have a sled, and it's not in Alaska!
Replace the sled with a shopping cart, replace the dog team with 4 people, and replace the 1,100 miles of Alaskan countryside with the streets of Downtown Phoenix.

It all started in San Francisco some time around 1995 with an event that they dubbed the "Urban Iditarod". In 2004, New York City got a hold of it and made it ridiculous. You can check out the original San Francisco Idiotarod or feel free to Google search on that action.

Yeah?

Phoenix has a lot of cool creative people living here, and many of them are right downtown. A group of us decided that Phoenix needs to start doing more fun stuff. The Idiotarod is the first in several events being planned for our fair city.

What else?

"The Four P's"
PARTICIPATION! What else were you going to do on a Saturday in February that would be this much fun? Seriously, get off your tivo/roku/hulu addicted ass and grab a hacksaw or a sewing machine or a can of gold spray paint and get started!
PARTY! Well, a KICK-ASS after-party of course! A portion of the entry fees will go to buy a keg or two of decent beer, booze, cups, ice, etc. Every participant gets a free invite to the party!
PRIZES! The First place team is a bunch of idiots that COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT OF THE RACE. Prizes will be awarded as the race marshalls and organizers see fit. We look for things such as team costumes, team/race spirit, creativity, etc... There may be additional prizes announced along the way too!
Pickled Radishes! Nevermind, we're not sorry. We still think this was funny.

Sold!

So you want to do this eh? Just follow these four simple steps!
Step 1: Recruit a 5-person team.
Step 2: Register your team.
Step 3: Get a cart and show up with it and your team on Race Day!

FAQ

Who can race?
Anyone who is at least 21 years of age. Unfortunately, the checkpoints are at bars, so if you're under 21 you might have problems getting past the checkpoints. Feel free to forward this invitation to anyone you know!
Isn't it going to be cold?
Only until you start "mushing"! The race goes off rain or shine, blizzard or breeze. Bundle up. (yeah, that would be a sight!)
What's the route?
That's up to you. The race begins in downtown Phoenix. We will announce a few checkpoints and a finish line on race day. You choose the fastest path. You will be held for 20 minutes at each checkpoint. There will be booze at the checkpoints. We really encourage everybody to support the bars that support our events like this. Bring cash!!!
Can you tell me how long it will be?
I sure can!
Well how long will it be?
Oh! It will be approximately 3-5 miles. Since you choose your own routes, it could be a lot longer though!
What time do we show up?
On Race Day, you should show up about an hour or two early. Get there by 11:30AM at the latest, because the race starts promptly at 1pm. By 3pm, you should be done with the race and celebrating.
Can we get drunk?
It makes the pain go away. Just sober up before you drive your car/truck/van.
Are there rules?
Yes, so many that they have their own page!
Does my team need its own shopping cart?
Yes.
Where do we get a cart?
Drive around until you see one.
Are you suggesting we steal it?
No. Find one that isn't at the supermarket and bring it back to them. On the way, enter this race with it.
Can we modify our shopping cart?
Yes, although there are rules -- kind of like stock car racing. Your shopping cart must roll on the original hard rubber caster wheels (no air filled tires). As a general rule, you can attach things to your cart, make a riding platform, and grease up your wheels. You can also chop up the cart and rearrange the pieces -- but they all have to be accounted for. And because teams have asked in the past, no, your shopping cart can not be motorized.
What do I do with my cart after the race?
Take it back to the store where it belongs. The cart misses its home. Oh, and the cart's friends and loved ones too.
What is this going to cost me?
Dignity. Plus your entry fee.
Can I make a side bet?
Absolutely.
I want to race but my friends are lame. Is there a team I can join?
Maybe. Join the email list, and you can ask around for help.
Is there a way that I can participate without racing?
Absolutely! We're going to need race marshalls and other volunteers. Keep your eyes open on this site and the discussion list for volunteer meeting information!
This sounds funny. Can I bring my video camera and document it?
We would much rather you race. We think you'll have more fun. But yeah, you can come cheer on the teams at the starting line or at any of the checkpoints. And, fine, bring your camera.
Can my team wear matching outfits?
I think you should! There will be prizes for Best in Show, Best Costumes, etc.
Why are you doing this?
Because it's important to fight cold and kill boredom. What else are you doing that weekend?
But seriously?
Yeah. We want to live in a city where people do ridiculous things to amuse others -- and themselves. And because we believe the most important thing you can do with public space is use it.
Where did you get the idea for this event?
We stole it from a group of people who recently did it in Seattle. I think they stole it from a group of people in NYC. They stole it from a group of people in San Francisco who have been doing it for 10+ years. There are also people doing the same thing in other cities, like Ann Arbor, Michigan for one. The Idiotarod debuted in New York in 2004. People loved it. There are a lot of stories and photographs about the event at their website: www.precisionaccidents.com.
Who won last year?
Check the Results page for as much as we can remember.
Where can I get more information?
Use the links at the top of each page on this site! Or go ask your mom.
Where can I learn more about the real Iditarod?
This is a good website: www.iditarod.com. Oh, your mom probably knows a lot about dog racing too.
Will there be an afterparty?
Yes. An undisclosed site will host the official award show and afterparty. There will be music, DJs, dancing, and libations. It's going to be great. Register now! Your pre-registration monies will directly fund this event!
How do I sign up for the race?
At the Registration page.
Will my shirt get dirty?
Not only will your shirt get dirty, your nice pants will get ripped and you will have no idea what happened to your underwear. Deal with it.